SATIRE😭🔫

“Trump and Garbage“

The latest comedy election edition  of “How to Lose Friends and Influence Elections,” the media and certain Wikipedia editors/experts/analyst/kings of the world have teamed up to prove once and for all that Donald Trump is probably a fascist. Yeah since Covid I am listening to this “fascism”. Following a four-year legal battle that somehow involved the term “Trump and fascism” 91.2% times on one Wikipedia page, editors and certain Marxist-leaning scholars are feeling pretty certain they’ve nailed it this time. “It was a grueling process of sourcing and re-editing until only the right sources were used,” said one editor, who cited his “comprehensive research” based on articles from some house called The Guardian and very-late-night talk show monologues.

We also find in this election jungle some are bringing garbage and some are bringing garbage trucks. Trump’s fascism hit new highs after President Joe Biden recently called Trump supporters “garbage.” In response, Trump retaliated by walking down his Boeing 757 and hopped in a white bad boy garbage truck, yes an actual garbage truck. The metaphor couldn’t have been clearer: here’s one group calling Trump a fascist, and the other now bringing in garbage trucks to match the rhetoric. Perfect Perfect Perfect Symmetry. Imagine All Eyez on Me playing in the background while Don drives that truck.  

Wikipeeeedia

Now coming back to science. According to objective very-high level experts cited by Wikipedia (including a Marxist ecologist who writes about moon colonies), Trump’s insistence on things like “freedom of speech” and “individual responsibility” are clear indicators of authoritarianism. “True freedom lies in obedience to government experts,” one editor explained. “If you can’t trust the bureaucrats, who can you trust, who? who?”

READ: Report: Millions Of Garbage Bags Seen Lining Up Outside Polling Stations

But real twist folks? As they hammer away at the “fascist” label, it turns out some media and great academics are also keeping score cards up on a little side project called “Trumpism.” A key takeaway? “Trumpism” is just a fancy word for, well, fascism, but with a few extra citations and enough modern academic jargon to make it stick.

READ: Internet Erupts After Hilarious AI Video of Donald Trump at McDonald’s Goes Viral 😬

With all this in mind, we’ll wait with bated breath to see what “objective” research tells us next. And if things continue down this road, we might even see the next Wikipedia headline read: “Trump’s New Plan for Mars: Fascism Among the Stars.”

READ: Joe Biden Exits 2024 Presidential Race: Focuses on Final Term Duties

“Listen, Joe, we here to bring folks together, not be throwin’ no shade! Let’s keep it real and keep it respectful, now.”